ordinary life - June edition

I realize more and more every day just how complicated my relationship is with… many things. Social media. Politics. Aging. Regarding the last, I’ve recently started using paper mache-like cut outs on my face every night to even out my wrinkles and call me crazy, but I think they are working a little bit?

I missed fall soccer registration for my son yesterday because there’s a lot to keep track of with six kids and I’m more or less keeping my head above water most days, but all he wants to do is play soccer so there’s that winning-mom moment. Hope the waitlist works out. I offered to coach to help our chances. Funny thing is, we were actually swimming all day yesterday and everyone was having a blast but we came home very hot and tired and that’s why I missed registration, so the head above water analogy is kind of right on point here. 

Three of my boys have a very weird rash I cannot figure out. Heat? Is the lake polluted? We may never know but we’re going to keep swimming because the biggest thing on my vision board this summer is “get the kids tired before 9pm” and I find that is easier with water involved and this rash is going to have to get a lot worse before I change my vision board. 

Bray, our 16-month-old has learned to hit and thinks it’s hilarious and I learned I should have never, ever laughed the first time he did it. 

I tripped on a toy tractor today and my sweet son, Cannon, with very limited communication immediately said, “Are you ok mommy?” and I wish I could find the words to tell you how miraculous that question felt.

Beckett turned three last week and now I have two three-year-olds in the house now. That’s it. Just wanted you to know there are two of them. There's a whole mood around here. 

My husband will be seven months sober on July 6th. One day at a time.

This weekend, 13 baby birds fell into our egress window well. We did our best to help these birds who were clearly lost, not able to fly, and not faring so well stuck in a hole with rocks and dried leaf debris. I mean, we used our food chopper on worms, y’all. Alas, Google was only moderately helpful (as Google is) and at 6pm on a Sunday evening no one at any wildlife refuge desk is answering a phone. I’m sorry to report that most of the baby birds did not make it. No one was sadder about this than Jordi, whose sensitive heart wept at the sight of the ones we couldn’t save. But, every morning when it’s really quiet, and every evening before the sun goes down, I see two of our babies making their way around the yard looking for food in the company of a full grown quail. Our baby birds are decidedly not quails, that much I know. But this good bird adopted them, and they feel safe with her even though they aren’t family, and it’s so profoundly beautiful I can hardly stand it. 

I’m starting a 5-day juice cleanse tomorrow. I’ve never done any kind of cleanse and I have to be honest, I love food so much five days is feeling real ambitious right now. But I’ve also been eating a lot of sour cream and cheddar potato chips lately because all I want in the summer is chips and sparkling water. So, it’s time to show a little discipline and honestly, I just need to prove to myself I can do it. I am 37 after all, and I have to get this cleanse in before the 4th of July when I will again be eating a lot of sour cream and cheddar potato chips. 

Speaking of the 4th of July, have I ever told you it’s my favorite holiday? I mean, I bought patriotic nail stickers this year. Our day starts at 11:00am with our city’s parade and ends around 11:00pm when the fireworks are done. In between it’s swimming and s’mores and cornhole and too much lemonade and the greatest of friends and baby sunscreen and sparklers and I just love it all so much I can’t stand it.

I emailed our local crisis pregnancy center this morning, because there’s more I can do to show up for the women and babies and lives that I believe with my whole heart are miraculous. I also grabbed my daughter – the one I picked up in a McDonald’s parking lot when she was four days old – by the cheeks and told her for the 10 thousandth time in her life that a miracle is exactly what she is. You are one, too. Do you ever think about that? 

We bought Harper a watch that she can call and text from. Approved contacts only. No internet. A solid purchase that I am far more obsessed with than Harper is because she starts and finishes every single voice memo with “I love you, mom” and never will I ever take that for granted. 

Back to the complicated relationship thing: It is so, so important to me to honor everyone. I don’t like either/or categories. People deserve to be listened to and understood more than that dichotomy allows. And yet, I will always and only ever have one answer for anything and everything: Jesus. He came to get us because we desperately needed him to. And I find that the more I realize I need him, the more I see he’s there.

Life is ordinary and challenging and beautiful, isn’t it?