learning

Toddlers at the coolest.  Exhausting, yes.  Button-pushing, yes.  Patience-trying, yes.  But fun, absolutely yes.

Harper is just three weeks shy of two years old.  And at this stage, she is learning.  So much.  She listens when we talk and repeats our words and phrases.  She watches when we pray and mimics our gestures.  She sees me put makeup on then climbs on the bathroom vanity when my back is turned to try it herself.  In her little mind, not much is impossible.  Harper is beautifully undeterred by past failures or mistakes, she just keeps doing, she'll get closer the next time.  

Probably my favorite part of parenting so far is this: the teaching.  It is a weighty responsibility, knowing someone is watching so closely and modeling everything she sees.  But mostly, it is such a privilege to know she is listening, that she is looking to her mom and dad to corral her little steps every day.  And for a hundred missteps and mistakes and messes and sorries and timeouts, there are a few in the right direction, moments when the glue stick goes right on the paper and not on the table, and Harper proudly announces, "I made this for you, mommy!"

I'm learning, too, that motherhood is not about me, it's about a bigger story.  God has given me my little babies and made me a mom, but I am still in every way His daughter.  And I can only hope that for a hundred of my own missteps and mistakes and messes and sorries and timeouts, I make a few in the right direction, towards him- moments when my heart catches a glimpse at his glory and I see every detail of my life in light of his kingdom work.  He is teaching me so much about the word need through my children, and it is such a gift.

As I watch my daughter learn and try things again and again, I am reminded that God wants the same thing from me.  Life will be messy and full of insecurity and regret and apologies, but I know at the end what my goal is: to see God and say proudly, "my life was for you, Jesus."